Every coach, leader, or teammate has faced them — those people who seem to suck the life out of every room they walk into. They drain enthusiasm, undermine momentum, and make the team’s energy feel heavier the moment they show up. I call them Energy Vampires, and over the years — both on the field and in the workplace — I’ve learned a lot about how to deal with them.

This isn’t just about handling difficult personalities. It’s about protecting the culture, the chemistry, and the mission of the team. Because if negativity goes unchecked, it spreads faster than any strategy or playbook ever could.

Understanding Energy Vampires

Energy Vampires don’t always mean to be negative. Often, they’re dealing with deeper issues — fear, frustration, insecurity, or a sense of not being heard. I’ve seen some turn things around completely once they felt supported. I’ve also seen others stay stuck in their negativity and sabotage the team’s progress.

The difference often comes down to how we approach them — and how strong our culture is.

My First Step: Lead With Love and Empathy

When I deal with energy vampires, my first move is always empathy. I try to understand what’s behind the negativity before I rush to judgment. No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “I want to ruin my team’s day.”

One story that stuck with me came from Martin at Seventh Generation, who put a sign on his door that read: “Energy Vampires Welcome. Expect to be filled up with positive energy.” That mindset — meeting negativity with positivity — has inspired the way I lead. I want to help people transform, not shame them.

When Positivity Isn’t Enough

But I’ve also learned the hard way that not every Energy Vampire wants to change. And if repeated efforts fail — if the negativity continues to drain others and sabotage the mission — I believe it’s time to make a hard choice.

That might mean letting them go from the team or creating conditions where they choose to leave on their own. The best way to do that? Build a culture so positive and so aligned with your values that negativity just doesn’t fit. When the environment rewards collaboration, optimism, and accountability, the people unwilling to embrace that often walk away on their own.

Culture Is the Strongest Defense

Culture is everything. I have my players read The Energy Bus, and we even created a mural of an Energy Vampire. Any time someone displayed negative behavior, their photo went up next to it. No one wanted that label.

I’m not saying every coach or manager should do the same, but the lesson is clear: negativity must be addressed openly. Whether it’s a locker room, an office, or a boardroom, I make it clear that behaviors that drain others and hurt the team’s goals won’t be tolerated.

When You’re Not in Charge

Sometimes you’re not the head coach or the manager — and that can make dealing with Energy Vampires harder. But you still have influence. I’ve seen teams change simply because one person shared The Energy Bus with leadership or consistently modeled the positivity they wanted to see.

Even without authority, I believe your energy can change the room. A simple rule I live by: my positive energy must always be stronger than the negativity around me.

Choosing Positivity Every Day

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” I remind myself of that often. If I can’t change an Energy Vampire, I focus on protecting my mental space. If I’m close with the person, I might try a direct, compassionate conversation — but I also know many people can’t see their own negativity. And if it’s someone outside my circle? Sometimes I just walk the other way.

Be the Standard You Want to See

In the end, dealing with Energy Vampires comes down to one principle: be the standard. Whether I’m coaching a lacrosse team or leading a project at work, I aim to be the example of the energy I expect — consistent, positive, resilient, and focused on solutions.

When you do that, something powerful happens: the team starts to reflect that energy back. And once the culture tips in favor of positivity, Energy Vampires lose their power.

Final Thoughts

I’ve learned that dealing with Energy Vampires isn’t about confrontation — it’s about cultivation. It’s about building an environment where negativity can’t take root and where positivity becomes the default. When you lead with empathy, set firm expectations, and consistently model the right energy, your team — whether on the field or in the office — becomes unstoppable.