I’ve spent years coaching athletes, teams, and sometimes parents who are just trying to figure out the next right step. What I’ve learned is this: success rarely comes from complicated systems. It comes from simple disciplines done consistently over time.

These are four rules I come back to again and again. I share them with players, with my own kids, and with anyone who asks what really matters if you want to grow — on the field and off it.

Read more than you think you should

Most people stop reading when school ends. That’s a mistake.

Reading is how you borrow experience you haven’t earned yet. Every book puts you in someone else’s locker room, boardroom, or living room. You learn how they failed, how they adapted, and how they kept going.

As a coach, I’ve seen the difference. The athletes who read — about leadership, mindset, history, even fiction — tend to think better under pressure. They see patterns sooner. They’re harder to rattle.

You don’t need a perfect reading list. Just start. Read when it feels uncomfortable. Read when you’d rather scroll. Over time, reading builds a quiet edge that compounds.

Write down everything — about everything — all the time

If reading sharpens your mind, writing sharpens your awareness.

I write constantly. Practice notes. Random thoughts. Things that went right. Things that went wrong. Ideas that might never matter — and a few that absolutely will.

Writing slows your thinking down just enough to make it honest. It forces clarity. It turns vague feelings into usable lessons.

For athletes, journaling helps separate emotion from execution. For life, it creates a record you can return to when things get noisy. You don’t need to be a “writer.” You need to be willing to put your thoughts into words and tell the truth to yourself.

Over the next ten years, build relationships — and learn to connect the dots

This is a long game, and most people don’t play it long enough.

Every meaningful opportunity I’ve ever had came through a relationship — often one I didn’t realize would matter at the time. A former teammate. A parent. A coach I respected. Someone who saw how I worked when no one was watching.

Over the next ten years, focus on people. Be reliable. Be curious. Be generous with your time and attention. Then, learn to connect the dots. The ability to see how one relationship leads to another is a skill — and it’s coachable.

Talent opens doors. Relationships keep them open.

Never turn down an opportunity to learn or to work

Early on, say yes.

Say yes to learning. Say yes to work that doesn’t come with applause. Say yes to roles that stretch you before they reward you.

Some of the most important lessons I learned came from jobs and opportunities that didn’t look impressive on paper. But they taught me how to show up, how to listen, and how to work when it wasn’t glamorous.

Effort compounds faster than you think. The habits you build when no one is watching become the foundation you stand on later.

Final Thought

None of these rules are flashy. That’s the point.

Read more. Write everything down. Invest in people. Say yes to learning and work. Do those four things consistently over time, and you won’t just get better — you’ll become someone others trust, follow, and want around.

That’s what I’m coaching for. And it works far beyond the game.