Leadership never gets easier. The pressure doesn’t disappear. The expectations don’t lighten. The challenges don’t politely wait until things feel comfortable.

What does change is the leader.

Lessons Every Lacrosse Coach Should Live By

Strong leaders don’t ask for less weight — they build stronger backs. In the world of lacrosse, where athletes, parents, assistants, and administrators all look to the coach for direction, leadership is forged through standards, habits, and daily choices. Growth doesn’t remove pressure; it increases capacity.

The best coaches understand this truth early: leadership is not about avoiding hard moments, but about responding well when they arrive.

Standards, Not Goals, Define Outcomes

Goals are important. They give direction. They create motivation. But goals alone don’t win games or build programs.

As Coach Holava often reminds his players and fellow coaches, you don’t rise to the level of your goals — you fall to the level of your standards. Standards are what show up every day at practice, in the locker room, during film sessions, and in how people treat one another when no one is watching.

What a coach tolerates today becomes tomorrow’s culture. Effort, accountability, preparation, and respect are either reinforced daily or slowly eroded through inaction. Championship programs aren’t built on inspirational speeches alone; they’re built on non-negotiable standards lived out consistently.

Perspective Is What Sustains Leaders

Adversity doesn’t disqualify leadership — it refines it.

Every coach faces setbacks: losing streaks, injuries, difficult seasons, and conflict within the program. The difference between leaders who last and those who burn out often comes down to perspective. How a coach interprets pressure determines how long they can endure it.

When adversity is viewed as a threat, it drains energy. When it’s viewed as a teacher, it sharpens leadership. Perspective shapes not only how a coach navigates hardship, but also how the entire program responds to it.

Leadership Is Relational, Not Transactional

You cannot withdraw from people you haven’t invested in.

Leadership in lacrosse is deeply relational. Ryan Leak’s challenge to leaders to “play the long game” rings especially true in sports. Trust isn’t built in big moments; it’s built in consistent presence, honest conversations, and genuine care over time.

The most valuable investment a coach can make isn’t in drills, gear, or systems — it’s in people. Athletes perform better, listen longer, and grow faster when they know their coach is committed to them beyond wins and losses.

Confidence Is Earned Through Action

Confidence doesn’t come from waiting until everything feels clear. It comes from stepping forward despite uncertainty.

Coach Holava’s message is simple and direct: courage comes before clarity. Leaders grow by acting, not by hesitating. The willingness to make decisions, adjust course, and learn publicly is what separates developing leaders from stagnant ones.

In lacrosse, just like in life, progress favors those who move.

Encouragement Is Not Soft — It’s Strategic

Encouragement is often misunderstood as optional or secondary. In reality, it’s one of the most powerful leadership tools available.

When athletes feel seen, known, valued, and understood, trust increases. When trust increases, performance follows. Encouragement doesn’t lower standards — it reinforces them by reminding people they are capable of meeting them.

Great coaches challenge hard and encourage harder.

Hard Conversations Build Trust When Handled Well

Avoidance doesn’t protect relationships. It weakens them.

Difficult conversations are inevitable in leadership: playing time, effort, attitude, accountability. What matters is how those conversations are handled. Preparation and grace transform hard conversations into trust-building moments.

The principle is simple: prepare for the conversation so you don’t have to repair the relationship. Clarity, honesty, and respect preserve trust even when the message is uncomfortable.

Community Must Be Co-Created

You can’t consume community — you must help build it.

Strong programs don’t happen accidentally. Coaches who invest intentionally in relationships create environments where people feel connected, supported, and responsible for one another. Social health isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership advantage.

When players and staff co-create culture, buy-in deepens and resilience strengthens.

Culture Is Reinforced Daily, Not Occasionally

Culture isn’t shaped by big speeches or once-a-season meetings. It’s shaped by what is reinforced every day.

What a coach celebrates grows. What is ignored spreads. Language, effort, body posture, response to mistakes — all of it sends a message. Leadership is revealed in consistent behavior far more than in intention.

Growth Requires the Right Environment

Leaders don’t grow alone.

Even the most experienced coaches need connection, feedback, and shared learning. The right community accelerates growth in ways that isolation never can. Coaching thrives when leaders surround themselves with others who challenge, sharpen, and support them.

Momentum is built faster when growth is shared.

Lead Forward With Intention

Progress doesn’t require perfection.

The reminder for every coach is simple: pick one principle that matters most right now. Lead with intention. Apply it faithfully. Growth comes through consistency, not comparison.

Leadership is not about arriving — it’s about becoming. And the strongest leaders are the ones who keep showing up, keep learning, and keep building others along the way.